Scream 7 just hit the theaters this week and is taking the internet by storm.
Some truly hate it, some found it to be a return to the source and… I stand somewhere in between.
I thought of doing the same format as the Final Destination bloodlines review, but there is too much to say here.
Back to Woodsboro : the Stu Macher legacy
The opening scene was a nice little addition to the franchise.
They already did something similar in 6, showing a part of the Stab fanbase, but honnestly, Scott could’ve been me.
Let’s not kid ourselves, it would have been me (not with real murders though, of course, but with the Stu Macher house. Let me take all the gory selfies).
Am I mad that they burnt it to the ground ? Yes.
That location was like the Elm street house for some of us. It hurts to see it like this.
But it shows their willingness to move on (at least a little bit) from the first movie.
Old faces and new blood : the casting choice
Nostalgia hit hard on some parts of Scream 7.
The music ? The dialogue ? The curfew ? The « AI » of the dead characters ? (I love that they didn’t even try to de-age any of them, it makes no sense, it’s perfect haha).
The Texas chainsaw massacre being the movie screening in the only theater in town is a nice little nod to horror fans. Thanks Kevin Williamson.
Being a long time fan of Community, it felt like worlds colliding with the addition of Joel Mchale.
Same with Freakylinks and Ethan Embry (but I am pissed at the missuse of his character, so much).
We go back to the start, with a new Billy entrance, but no double door to get him in the clear.
I like the character of new Tatum. She doesn’t seem completly out of it. She fits in nicely as a potential new final girl.
I have a bit more issues with her friend group, as we don’t spend enough time with them to care…
But it did break my heart that Mckenna Grace didn’t get more screen time.
She was a huge selling point for me to go back to the franchise with the mess of 5 & 6.
She died too quickly. And destroyed the plaid theory.
For those of you who have jobs or families, and are not chronically online, there is a resounding theory in the Scream universe that the killers are either the boyfriend, the bestfriend, or whoever wears a plaid outfit. Scream 7 destroyed that theory by killing both Lucas and Hannah.
There are many reviews that go into detail into the erasure of Halle as a best friend, or the fact that Kirby wasn’t here when she could have been added, being linked to Sidney and all…
And while I agree, I think it was already crowded enough.
We didn’t spend too much time on anyone, and the core family was the main focus anyway.
Sidney Evans (but Prescott in our hearts) steals the entire show again.
It feels good getting our final girl back. She has been carrying the franchise since 1996.
She was truly missed in Scream 6. It kind of was like Halloween 3 : Season of the Witch.
The relationship between her and Gale felt natural, but I don’t get why Gale dissapeared completly from the final act. The town doesn’t seem that big, she could have been shown at least discovering the bodies in the pub ?
Or just, you know, having PTSD somewhere ? Something, anything.
Speaking of the deaths, while they were creative and fun, the CGI was sadly too evident.
And Sidney going on foot was dumb as hell when she could have gotten back for the keys.
Having Mindy and Chad in this one is a decent choice. It allows us to remember the new york horrors while including them more with the core cast. I still don’t get how they are still alive though. Plot armor is strong with those characters.
Gale giving Mindy the mic at the end feels like passing the torch.
Same with the emotional speech between Sidney and Tatum. We know our leading ladies aren’t eternal, as long as they keep pushing Scream movies, we’ll eventually have to let them go and have a heritage legacy.
The dad being still alive is the funniest shit to me. We either got a new Dewey or a new killer on our hands.
The “Ghostface” problem : when villains lack punch
Speaking of… I guess we have to go there at some point.
The killers. Pffffff.
You guys got the amazing Anna Camp (True blood andYou) and Ethan Embry (Freakylinks and Empire Records) and you botch the ending this bad ?
They both can act like lunatics.
They can do anything you throw their way. And you give them… nothing ? Why ?
As the audience we were baited to hell with a Stu Macher (Matthew Lilliard) comeback and… we get 3 nobodies who don’t even have more than 6 lines of dialogue ?
Honnestly, the Stu storyline would have been far fetched at best, but the crumbs were there.
The podcast in the opening scene, the hospital where he could have hidden for years… Hell we could even have retconned the Amber killing Dewey, by saying it was actually Stu (which would have made more sense, and wouldn’t be as dissapointing).
A new theory
Here’s a thought to link it all and not lose some plot points.
If we do Scream 1, 2,3 being Roman.
Then 4 by itself with Jill.
And now 5, 6 and 7 could have had Stu as the mastermind.
He would have recruited people to fuck with Sidney and Billy’s daughter. Try to recrute her as a killer in the process. He would have chased Gale in 6, and killed Dewey and Judy in 5.
Since we’re not on the 2 killers storyline anymore, why not get a whole gang of them controlled by the OG one ? It could have gone full circle with him burning his own house to the ground as well.
The Stab movies clearly have a following in universe, and true crime attracts weirdos. It’s not that far fetched.
I could easily see Stu as a living lunatic, planning badly for his revenge and fucking it up every single time. Spiralling more into madness each time.
And it would have been a better reveal than the fucking neighbour and a random nurse, don’t you think ?
While I liked most of Scream 7, the ending really felt ridiculous.
We even had a callback to the death of Steve over… nothing. It breaks my heart.
It could have been so much better.
I hate ranking things, but here we go
If I had to rank them, to give you an idea as to where I stand, it would go like this :
- Scream (1996) – The masterpiece.
- Scream 2 (1997) – The only required sequel.
- Scream 4 (2011) – Ahead of its time, and the last one made by Wes Craven.
- Scream 7 (2026) – The nostalgic core.
- Scream 6 (2023) – Ghostface takes Manhattan.
- Scream 5 (2022) – The “Re-quel” .
- Scream 3 (2000) – The unwanted step-brother.
I know most will disagree, but… while I get the boycott behind the dismissal of Melissa Barrera and Jenna Ortega, I can’t get myself to love 5 & 6.
I stand with their world views, but I didn’t like the Sam and Tara storylines.
I like Radio Silence, but their style didn’t fit this franchise.
I felt good going back to the OG cast with Kevin Williamson at the wheel.
Sorry.
My rating : 3.5/5 bats
🦇🦇🦇🔪🔪
And if you somehow missed it, Ice nine kills released a song with Mckenna Grace for Scream 7.