Before starting this review, I just want to point out that I tend to be nostalgic and that I really like some of the previous versions of Frankenstein.
I also really like Del Toro‘s universe. Pan’s Labyrinth and Crimson Peak are fantastic.
Needless to say, I had pretty high expectations when I saw that his version was coming out, and on Netflix no less! Bonus points for not having to pay for a movie ticket!
And yet… It took me literally three tries to finish it.
The sets are fabulous, the costumes are incredible, and the actors gave their all to bring their characters to life. I loved Mia Goth in Ty West‘s trilogy and Oscar Isaac is brilliant, so I really had high hopes here…
The “iphone face” paradox : when casting kills the era
Unfortunately, it wasn’t to my taste at all.
First of all, the creature is impossible to imagine in that era, knowing that he has the face of someone who has already held an iPhone in their hands. Timothée Chalamet would have given me the same reaction for instance.
Then, I also have a hard time with the fact that the « monster » looks exactly like Prometheus, with hair.
They do refer to it several times, and it’s more faithful to the book and it was intentional, but why? How?
Don’t you feel like you’ve got the wrong franchise here?
Where did the ugliness go ?
The intent shouldn’t be to want to fuck a corpse, Hollywood. I don’t understand the idea behind turning the creature beautiful, even if it is in the book. Out of all the things to take from Ryan Murphy, this wasn’t the right one.
In pop culture, our version of the monster is a pile of decomposing corpses powered by electricity, not a mannequin with hair in all the right places to appeal to teenagers.
It’s too much.
It’s watered down and it doesn’t even grunt…
Why did they give a Gotye makeover to Glenn Danzig ?
Give me back my cadaver stitches.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love gothic horror, so romantic movies and series with monsters that have a love story and redemption are a yes, but in a well-defined sense, and not like this…
Especially the very Oedipal winks throughout more than two hours of the movie.
What’s worse than bad ?
It goes round in circles and gets boring. I’m sorry, but I said it.
Not for everyone, of course, but several of my friends gave up before having to start it again to finish it, and that’s not a good sign, it means the pace is a tad too slow… Some didn’t even bother staying until the end.
However, scenes of considerable importance (such as the ending) happen at lightning speed…
There are entire moments where if you blinked for a little too long, you missed something quite important (yes, I’m looking at you, William‘s death, which also treats us like idiots incapable of understanding metaphors).
On a very personal note, the cabin sequences felt like a grueling marathon of dullness. It’s too long, and if you took it out of the movie, you wouldn’t be losing much.
Sure, the humanity and the creature’s words are somewhat important, but at what cost?
Did you see the CGI wolves and sheep?
I wanted to stop everything right then and there. Real life was calling for me.
Science-Fiction or just plain fantasy?
Victor’s father and the blind old man are played by actors from Game of Thrones.
It probably didn’t bother anyone else, but it completely took me out of the mood, because I kept thinking that I could be rewatching the first three seasons instead.
And I can easily overlook the creature’s immortality—let’s say he has his little Iron Man liquid going on, ok, fine—but the regeneration of wounds, I just can’t get my head around that.
How can a corpse, dead pieces of flesh, regenerate ad vitam æternam?
How can skin grow back if electricity is just running through the nervous system?
Okay, yeah, it’s fantasy, but it’s supposedly based on science. Even in theory that doesn’t hold up.
I never pictured Frankenstein‘s monster as an undead axolotl, but here we are.
And everyone lived happily ever after
And the ending… You know what I saw when the boat left ? The Little Mermaid and Prince Eric waving goodbye to Triton in the ocean.
Okay, I admit, at this point of the movie I had already pretty much clocked out, but the creature forgives Victor WAY too quickly. You can’t spend an hour of the movie building up to everything being solved with a magic kiss. We shouldn’t be in Prince Charming territory here.
And then the captain nods his head.
The monster violently killed half of your crew for absolutely no reason, you don’t just wave at him.
It’s not just unbelievable, it’s insulting.
Okay, he “saves” (you can’t tell, but I’m putting big quotation marks there) the other half by freeing the ship, but does that mean we completely forget about his gratuitous violence?
Honestly, I can’t get behind that ending. It’s just too much. Or is it not enough ?
Netflix always tries to dull down the scripts because they know viewers are also scrolling on their phones.
But they sometimes remove so much that interest also dips in the process.
Is this what happened here ? Did Del Toro have to dial it down and follow orders ?
I really tried my best to like this version.
I love Del Toro, I love Goth, I love Isaac, I have no opinion for or against Elordi, but this was dull, bland, laughable at times, and above all, uninteresting.
And that’s really the most unfortunate thing.
My rating : 2/5 bats
🦇🦇🧟♂️🧟♂️🧟♂️
(Mainly for the costumes and locations)